Once Bitten Twice Shy

Rolling with the punches 30 years later. (swear words warning) I try so hard to remain positive and grateful for my life and the people in it, however in recent days, I discovered another family member (only a couple left now) has unfriended me on FB. It might sound ridiculous that I care what happens on FB, but there is a very powerful message in this. Remembering family members are related so they often get to work in teams, they are not standing alone like I am. I’m quite aware they might not like me for other reasons aside from my 8 years of child abuse by a Man they know but for why? I think I’m a decent genuine person, in fact I pride myself on who I am. I’m kind and thoughtful and I try my best to be the friend I search for myself. Plus you’d think I’d have to do some pretty nasty shit to be shut out like I have. Wiped from their lives, not happy with my choice to create Cactus Pash……. So I carry this sadness and disappointment for all people who have not only suffered from the abuse but continue to suffer at the hands of family members who direct their contempt at the victim and not the perpetrator. It is vile to think the victims of this hideous crime are punished for something they didn’t do. Some of you may think….fuck them. They’re not worth another thought. Well, I agree, although I still have a mountain to climb before I can understand it. It’s very raw and writing this is part of the therapeutic cleanse, and right now I’m fucking angry! I feel completely fucking let down…and absolute astonishment that family can be so cruel and caught up in their own agenda. If your family is involved in Child Abuse in some way and your niece or son or daughter or nephew or grandchild or brother or sister or whoever has had the courage to come out, let me give you this advice…before you write them off for disrupting your life and rattling the reputation of your little world try to remember you are only abandoning the little girl or the little boy who was ripped apart to the core when they were tiny people. Try to remember this is the time they endured so much and this is the very subject you are willing to punish them for. These people, like me are not trouble makers. We are not intentionally making your life unbearable, we are not trying to disrupt your peace, we are not wanting attention, we are not looking for redemption, we are not interested in making your life hell, we are not after self pity, we are not asking for your blessing. We are coming out because we deserve it! If you think these children should keep their mouth shut when they are young or when they are older, then I think you are delirious and play an integral part in providing a hiding place for Paedophiles. There is an entrenched culture of shame associated with child Sexual Abuse and you are contributing to it. You might say, there are people to protect. People who still don’t know. People who will be broken hearted. People who will kill the perpetrator. People who won’t cope with the truth. Well, cope with this - I was a little girl trapped in a vicious world of hideous sexual acts for 8 years, over 200 rapes by a family member. Years of fear, loneliness and a disrupted childhood. GONE, never to be the same…so next time you blame me for being open with my past and wanting to protect our children and making a Paedophiles life hell, know that your are indirectly supporting Paedophiles and punishing the child. I am learning at a ferocious rate how many levels of mess this whole child abuse stuff carries and the major contributor is keeping it a SECRET. If the person in your family is found out to be a child rapist then for me it’s the biggest deal breaker that could ever be. They need removing from society, not a bunch of people to bunker down and provide a dirty hiding hole for them. They will continue to do unthinkable things to our children and if you harbour the truth or punish the victim for speaking out then I raise my hands with disgust. PROTECTING PEOPLE FROM THE TRUTH IS NOT PROTECTING THEM, IT’S LYING TO THEM