The Teen Age, Lost & Forgotten

This is for any teenager going through what feels like hell or someone who knows of a young person needing direction & support. Please read & share this blog. Reach for people who most need it…

This is a time where life is already full of struggles and unknown territory. A time where you feel the world is watching you & casting all kinds of expectations! Lurking eyes of judgement are waiting for you to decide on what your career will be, what job you’ll take while you study, when you’ll move out of home, which friends are worthy of your love, parents questioning the relationship with your lover, paying your way & fulfilling financial responsibilities, feeling the heavy load of job rejections, feeling too fucking scared to even look for a job, saying no to drugs & alcohol or saturating your brain with them, suffering in silence with an eating disorder, questioning or coming out about your sexuality, living with an undiagnosed mental illness, being bullied, sexually abused - as a child or currently, physically & mentally assaulted, being kicked out of home, suicidal....

Some of you may be suffering with one or more of these factors, feeling so lost with the weight of the world hovering over your head...like a starved eagle desperate to fly except it’s wings are clipped. Is this you? The pressure of a teenager is monumental, it’s living on the edge stuff & it requires tremendous strength. This is a time to seriously find that strength & resilience and grab it by the horns & do not let it go, despite the temptations of a reckless life or at worse, giving up.

You may even be homeless? And that would totally suck! Be assured though - if you are homeless & living with a friends family, under the bridge, in a refuge or wherever you find some comfort…you are braver than you know. The world of a homeless young person is worthy of more recognition & respect you receive, because of an almighty fear you might feel, the rejection you may be harbouring, all of which can be a web of fucking confusion, an incredible disconnect with community & family. It’s an experience words fail to really encapsulate how your reality must be for you.

There is an enormous pit of vulnerability out there & feeling vulnerable can be disastrous for your well being & steer you in a direction of mess. There is an essential crossroad for all of us out there for grabs where these arrows of direction are staring at you. Please be comforted by your vulnerability. This is your tool to harness & shake the shackles of shame associated with your vulnerability. Your vulnerable side is your master piece. We all feel it, we all live with it. It’s HOW you drag your vulnerable side out of this pit & start to shape your life with one decision at a time. Being vulnerable & recognising it is YOUR STRENGTH. Expressing your vulnerable side showcases your inner strength. So show it off, share your truth & let it guide you. Others will follow. Speak out and reach for someone, anyone...don't ride your fears solo. There will be those people tugging at your feet as you make your way out of that pit. They will tempt you with their bag of tricks - a quick fix of drugs or words you crave to hear, some affection, money, a summer of fun as you reject your basic obligations, the new obligations of the teenage world (earning your own money & paying your own way, being respectful of family, finishing your education, role modelling to siblings & friends, contributing to your community etc etc). Whatever it is for you, believe in YOU, even when you think no one else is. You might think it’s easy for me to write this stuff instead of living it…but I’ve been there, just like you & millions of other people your age, with all different severities. (even though each of our problems are as important as each others). It was so hard for me. I struggled tremendously for a decade or more. I smashed myself by punishing my truth. I was wild for the lack of love & support. It’s a sucky time but it can be an amazing time too. That’s why I’m writing this. Only difference is, YOU are the driver. Just as you stand at that road with ten different arrows of direction, feeling lost, alone & confused with thoughts of your life being so fucked up…try what worked for me. Find that one person you think might listen to you & help guide you in a positive way. Yes, you’ll need tremendous strength to do this because your ego will want to crawl under a rock & continue with all of the easy way out stuff. Confide in them. Allow your vulnerability to bring your truth to their ears & let them help you. If they don’t help you, for fucks sake please do not give up. Yes, it’s another rejection but keep on searching for that special person who will stand by your side. You will never find them if you don’t seek them out. I cannot emphasise this enough. I told a couple of friends about my rapes as a child & they were supportive, however we were young, around 15 or 16 & they too were dancing around their own directional path. It wasn’t until I was 18, when I told my friend Kerrie. She was the one who suggested I see a counsellor. She even phoned around and made my first appointment. I went through 2 or 3 different counsellors until I clicked with Maria who I saw on & off for 10 or so years. This was my saving grace. I finally had a listening ear, a person who heard everything I had to say, supported me & equipped me with endless tools to overcome my saddest days. She saved me & it was solely because I confided in a friend, one who truly believed in me & afforded my happiness. Search for this person or if you can muster that strength, sought out your own professional carer, one you like & just go with that. It’s so hard to go solo in times of despair. You deserve support & there are some beautiful caring people out there. Go find them…& don’t hesitate! There’s also a level of surrender in these hard times. Your expectations of desperately wanting your parents to help you & learning to let that go if they’re failing you. A counsellor can fill that void & help you directly address this. Sometimes parents or immediate family are unable to support you. It’s hard to get your head around this but it is what it is & fighting against it will waste your time & energy. It’s not you, it’s nothing you did, it’s nothing you didn’t do…it’s them & their personal war on shutting down their emotions, even when it is their own child. You are more worthy than I can ever express. Please honour your beautiful self. Grip the top of that deep dark vulnerable pit, stand tall with all it’s lonely baggage, the guilt, the shame, the tumultuous heart ache & set free on your own two feet to those arrows of direction. Go forth, do not turn back. Once there ponder at this place with all of the strength you can pull from within & set upon that chosen pathway. You may feel incredibly uncertain & so scared you might feel compelled towards safer ground, being drawn back to what you know, where you feel safe -the vulnerability pit. A pit of negativity awash with messed up hearts, a rebellious tribe screaming of loss through their negative actions. Keep walking forward, don’t go back to that. It will suck the life out of you. Before you walk away from the top of that pit of vulnerability, stand tall, face those people beneath you & with a loud determined voice - tell yourself as they listen, of your quest for a better life, one step at a time. Leave as the hero, the role model & the person they aspire to follow. Whether it’s a glimmer of strength or a wave of it, harness it & don’t let it go…find your support. It will save your life….

(For extra support head to the Resources section for some professional support services.) As the friend/the support person - if you’re the friend of a person going through a desperate time, please link arms with them & stand by their side. Do as much as possible until they find their feet. Be certain you will play a major role in shaping that person. They will hold you near forever more. You may even save their life. Speak Out Rise Above Be Free