Terminology Truths (not for the faint hearted - be warned)

It’s all about the truth....

The truth about sexual abuse, incest, sexual violence, child sexual assault...whatever the hell you want to call it?

I want to ask you this...What comes to mind when you hear the term ‘sexual abuse’? For some it’s a dismissive thought, for some it’s a feeling that permeates utter disgust and for others it’s something they know too well with a fresh injection of anger with every word mentioned...

If you’ve never been raped as a child, touched inappropriately, made to do sexual things against your will, you may be challenged with what it really means.

So next time you hear of that little girl or boy being sexually abused by their father, grandfather, brother, uncle, friend, step father, mother, sister or aunty, know the true meaning of these words...

It’s about that 50 year old man’s erect penis forcing it’s way inside a 5 year old girls vagina. Tearing it, ripping the skin while she silently begs for mercy.

It’s about the 40 year old man momentarily thrust into an elated frenzy of dominance while the frightened six year old girl, who can barely read and write lays paralysed with terror. Once he’s done, she is left to sop up the mess and stop her bleeding insides, to hide the fresh injuries, all while desperately trying to control her rolling tears and dry them, as she fakes a smile when her Mum arrives to collect her.

It’s about an 8 year old boy or girls tiny mouth being forced to stretch over a 60 year old mans throbbing penis! The pain, the smell, the gagging, the expectation to serve his sexual abnormality to reach orgasm, the threats to not dare stop, the exhaustion a little boy or girl endures.

It’s about the trickery to perform countless sexual acts upon the 10 year old boy or girl at any given moment. To be available to satisfy his sexually charged urges and having no say, no chance of protection, no one to battle against your rapist except your surrendered self. It’s about always being on task and the innocence of a young boy or girl that no longer exists!

It’s about a 10 year old petite girl who is feeling the force of his penis deep into her stomach. The force so alien it makes her feel nauseous! She whimpers in fear and pain, while he distorts it as pleasurable for her as it is for him! It’s about survival, living & hiding the confusion. The little girl who despises what is happening, yet is forced to hear his commentary! His verbal pollution of a putrid perversion that includes her in his twisted romantic story.

It’s about her little doll like legs being separated so far and placed in all kinds of contortions while he dismisses her existence and comfort. It’s about his tongue navigating around your body to find every orifice, as you lay fighting in your weakest moments, absorbed in terror and silently begging it to stop.

It’s about playing out the character roles he has for the 11 year old boy. It’s about using all parts of his body, inside and out! It’s about using objects to stick inside his anus while he fondles your flat chest. It’s about the vasoline that allows unimaginable exploitation and penetration beyond the boundaries of an infant body!

It’s about a woman, severing all chains of trust by forcing herself on the little 7 year old boy and feeling immense prowess as she thrusts this upon his body. It’s about the fractured relationship between a man and a women and the struggles he’ll endure for the rest of his life!

It’s about the little people of our world who are sexually interrogated and experimented upon by the men and women who are meant to love and protect them. It’s about the mind fucks associated with all things tongue kissing, fingering, sucking, penetration, licking, objects, perverted role playing, being drugged, stripping....then the emotional contamination - guilt, shame, secrets, fear, lies, distorted relationship dynamics, betrayal, abandonment! An endless list of what a broken spirit carries.

The relentless emotional bludgeoning a child should never experience.

It’s all about invasion, brutality, injuries, bleeding, crying, begging to stop, sexually transmitted infections, death threats, physical violence and a myriad of barbarity! A fast track way to the steps of crazy land!

Then it’s about crawling out of the darkness ever so slowly, reaching and desperate for the rescue. It’s about never finding the rescuer and the lonely endless windy, hilly road that only you walk upon...alone and disregarded, even when you’ve told your loved ones. An endless leaking tap of neglect!

Child abuse is all of these scenarios plus hundreds more. Yes they are hard to imagine, yes they are heartbreaking and so insidious it seems unbelievable. Reality is, it’s common, it’s prevalent in every socio economic group. It happened to me by a supposed loving family member and it’s seemingly most common amongst adults disclosing their own stories deep into their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and beyond.

I long for our country to be more driven by showing repulsion of how putrid and devastating it is for every child who is abused. For our society to mirror this intolerance whereby the justice system and the professionals who stand to protect us in a law abiding way, do so with fervent determination to punish and convict paedophiles. The history surrounding the ‘lack’ of punishment towards perpetrators of child abuse, sends a message that our children don’t matter. That the crime doesn’t see fit a lengthy harsh sentence. The questionable punishments of the past leave a dirty dark trail and it’s time to enforce more accountability on many levels and treat this crime as serious as it is.