Confessions of a Mother

Part 1 - Labour & All Its Glory

 

There's some creative language used here so if you get offended by such language think twice before you read on?

 

I have two girls - Cedar 7 and Macy 5.

 

Hayden (Boogs) my husband, and I had our babies in our mid 30’s. In fact Boogs was 29 and I was 34. Yes, I’m a cougar and proud of it. I had two miscarriages and grew a semi serious paranoia between the connection of my abuse and my inability to grow a baby! It was short lived and the rest is history.

 

We are so very blessed with our children. I love them both to death and know my world wouldn’t be worth living without them. That I know is true….

 

My labour with Cedar was fucking horrendous. 9 plump hours, excruciating pain at a level I cannot possibly describe and a body which endured so much physical hell. A grade 3 tear, 2.5 hours of stitching (it had to be redone half way through the procedure), all while my body was shaking uncontrollably. We tried for a water birth however my baby had ingested its own poo so that didn’t work. Instead I slogged it out in my room with a mixed bag of sounds and sights. I moaned and groaned and clenched and squeezed, I showered, I stood, I lay, I sat, I hunched, I wriggled, I bobbed…I hated it. I hated it. I hated it.